HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL YOU SPOOKY PEOPLE! We're going to have some fun today with Halloween, talking costumes, candy, and spooky movies too. Mike is in at 2 to discuss American Crime Story and scary flicks.
THE MANDY CONNELL VOTER GUIDE HAS ADDITIONS As people send me good info I'm adding it, and the additions today are Boulder County, Boulder and City of Longmont stuff. Find it here!
BUT WHAT IS MORE HORRIFYING THAN DEMOCRATS LYING ABOUT THE 2000 ELECTION? And I have to thank listeners Anthony for sending me this video clip of the Democrats perpetuating the lie that Gore won the 2000 Election for YEARS, even after a group of newspapers spent $500,000 of their own money for a hand recount that showed Bush CLEARLY won Florida. This is super fun though.
AND NOW, FRED WILLARD TELLS DAVE'S JOKE And does a wonderful job.
AND NOW A JOKE ABOUT POLITICS Because listener Brian was kind enough to forward this one.
There’s good news and bad news for the ’non-documented' families detained and separated at the southern border a few years ago. The good news: our thoughtful and caring government wants to award each person $490,000 as compensation for their horrible psychological distress! The bad news: the POTUS will pay them each with a Hunter Biden painting.
*rim shot*
AND YOU THOUGHT YOUR HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS WERE EXTRA This guy in Ohio did some NEXT LEVEL decorating with a ginormous skeleton appearing to pop out of the roof of his house. Check this out. Read the rest here.
Photo: Alan Perkins
MAN EATS ALL HIS MEALS AT SIX FLAGS AND PAYS OFF HIS STUDENT LOANS I love stories like this one where someone finds a way to game the system to their advantage. Dylan graduated from college with debt and an internship close to Six Flags Magic Mountain. After hearing a co worker talk about how she spent $1500 a month eating out, he decided to buy an annual pass and a food plan from Six Flags and eat all his meals there. And he did. And he paid off his student loans and ate for just $150 a year. I love this guy.
THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF BEST AND WORST HALLOWEEN CANDY And I went with this list because of the exhaustive way they consulted multiple other lists and compiled an aggregate list based on those lists and their own customer surveys and since they sell candy they've got cred. Best candy? We all know it's the Reese's. For real. And you know what they say is the WORST candy out there for Halloween? You guessed right, that noxious scourge known as Candy Corn.
A PUMPKIN THIEF IS CAUGHT IN THE ACT And can we talk about how doorbell cameras are a game changer in terms of knowing what happens to your stuff for a minute? This woman stole pumpkins from several homes just so she and her idiot friends could drive down the street and smash them out the window. Jerk. The first year we lived in our neighborhood we carved pumpkins and came out the next day and they were all smashed and I was SO MAD. I realized a couple of days later that the damn deer had done it. A camera doorbell would have helped back then. No treats for that dame!
THE QUEEN OF HALLOWEEN LIVES FOR THIS TIME OF YEAR And I always admire someone who has found what gives them joy and embraced it fully without fear of judgment. This broad has done just that.
IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BOBBY PICKETT SING THE MONSTER MASH YOU'RE WELCOME Because he looks SUPER CREEPY but also very cool.
THERE WILL BE NO COFFIN RACING IN MANITOU THIS YEAR AGAIN Because Manitou Springs is run by people who are TERRIFIED of Covid because they only watch CNN or something. They would not approve the outdoor event this year because of covid, though a smaller event will take place to celebrate the Spirit of Emma Crawford. Read more here.
LATE TO BUY YOUR COSTUME? THE WIZARD'S CHEST CAN HELP This Denver tradition has been helping costume helpless sorts for a long, long time. Find out more about his magical store here.
APPARENTLY HALLOWEEN TREES ARE A THING NOW And this is one tradition I am just not interested in. But if you love Halloween, read more about how to make your own Halloween tree here.
THIS IS HALLOWEEN FROM THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS Because if you've got a Halloween tree you don't mind mixing holidays anyway.
OF COURSE SOMEONE WAS GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SCARY MAKEUP. OF COURSE. Now activists for the disabled are calling for the end of Halloween costumes that require makeup that looks like scars or burns, or implies that you are blind or disabled in some way. Just dress as yourself and call it a day. I keep waiting for the whores to complain about all the slutty costumes each year, but they seem fine with it.
NEED SOME TREATS TO MAKE THIS WEEKEND? I do love Halloween food and here are 50 recipes to delight and horrify the crowd at your Halloween gathering.
MITT ROMNEY IS THE PERFECT TED LASSO #nailedit
IF STORE BOUGHT COSTUMES AREN'T YOUR THING Here are a bunch of easy to make (if you're crafty) costumes for the whole family! You're welcome.
IF YOU LOVE THE PUNNY COSTUME AS MUCH AS I DO You're going to LOVE this story with the best of the best punny costumes out there. These are 100% my style.
NOW A WALK DOWN CRAPPY COSTUME MEMORY LANE Just for fun, I did a google search for Halloween costumes of the 1970s and found this gem of a story. Show this to your kids to let them know how good they have it. One of my least favorite at the time but most favorite in retrospect was when my mom dressed us up as Snuffy Smith and Loweezy for Girl Scout camp when I was like nine. Hated it then because I didn't want to be a man, but appreciate how clever my mom was then. For reference if you aren't familiar with the hillbilly comic: