WE ARE OFFICIALLY ON GOVERNOR MANDATED LOCKDOWN And I'll be honest, I was okay with the lockdown in theory until I got the Big Brother text messages ordering me to not go anywhere from the Governor. I have so many questions, like which lock down order I'm supposed to pay attention to? They all have different end dates. Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of going anywhere and am perfectly fine staying in my house BY CHOICE, but this feels...WRONG when it's by government edict. I'd be a miserable failure in a totalitarian state. The Governor was on Colorado's Morning News this morning, listen to this.
WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR DEAR LEADER WILL ALLOW YOU TO DO? If you are confused about what you are allowed to do in this Brave New World of Lockdown here is a handy list.
WHAT DOES ESSENTIAL MEAN ANYWAY? Here is a good list of what the State defines as an "essential" business.
THE DETAILS OF THE NEW GINORMOUS SPENDING BILL ARE STARTING TO COME OUT And for some godforsaken reason I listened to the Nancy Pelosi presser on this today. I can't wait for you to hear the ONE soundbite I grabbed, it's a doozy. Here are a few columns on what's in the bill and whether or not the author thinks it is good or bad. Here and here and here, though this last one is paywalled.
OKAY FELLOW BRAND NEW HOMESCHOOLING PARENTS, HOW'S IT GOING? We're going to take the homeschool temperature today.
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO STAY SANE DURING THIS NONSENSE? Dr. Greg Hammer is with the Stanford University School of Medicine and he's coming on to discuss the best ways to handle the stress that we are feeling over all this crap. He's on at 1pm.
TODAY'S BUSINESS PIVOT IS ALL ABOUT THE MEAT What do you do when you are local sourced meat provider for local restaurants when those restaurants dramatically slows down? You sell it to regular people. Meet America's Travis Stovall is my guest today for Business Pivot, find him and his meat by clicking here.
JOE BUCK KEEPIN IT LOOSE WHILE THERE IS NO SPORTS and I love this even though he is probably one of my least favorite announcers in the booth. He's offering to do play-by-play on people's video games as long as they make a donation to charity. This is awesome.
LOTS AND LOTS OF WEDDINGS ARE ON HOLD And I think this is just really sad. And rescheduling won't be a piece of cake, as many venues are booked for a year in advance. I am truly bummed for the people that are dealing with this, because weddings should be a bright spot in our lives. Matt the Dead to Me's included.
AND NOW, CAROL BURNETT DOES TP
BEING AT HOME MEANS WE ARE SLOWING DOWN THE INTERNET And it's happening everywhere as people are forced home and onto the web. I sure hope this doesn't affect our ability to keep doing the show the way we're doing it! If you missed our video of how we're doing the show, check it out!
I THINK THESE JERKS SHOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS STUFF A Pennsylvania supermarket had to throw out $35,000 worth of food after a stupid woman coughed all over it on purpose. Although based on what the supermarket posted it seems this was likely a mentally ill woman who is known to authorities.
YES, JOBLESS CLAIMS SPIKED INCREDIBLY. WHO DIDN'T EXPECT THIS? I can't understand anyone gasping in amazement at the latest unemployment claims. Of course they were going to be record breaking. Governments across the country threw millions out of work. What did we think was going to be the outcome?
HOW DO YO PASS THE TIME IN A NURSING HOME DURING CORONAVIRUS? HUMAN HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO, OF COURSE!
MILLER LITE IS STEPPING UP TO HELP OUT OF WORK BARTENDERS And I sure hope other booze companies, who will probably see retail sales skyrocket right now, do the same. Miller Lite (Miller Coors) is donating a million bucks to a fund for out of work bartenders.
THE SIE FILM CENTER HAS MADE A COOL PIVOT And you can now stream their offerings online. Find out more here!
AW, TO BE MARRIED 60 YEARS AND STILL BE THIS IN LOVE This just made me laugh today.
NEED SOME HELP UNDERSTANDING SOCIAL DISTANCING? These guys have it down.
THIS IS THE BEST THREAD ON TWITTER RIGHT NOW And it's about why Triscuits are named Triscuits.
AND NOW, SOME WEIRD COOKING ADVICE FROM THE LAST 100 YEARS Because why not.
WATCH YESTERDAY'S CORONAVIRUS PRESS BRIEFING
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO WATCH THE WHOLE THING, PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE PART
SOME OF THE WORST COVID DOOMSDAYERS ARE CHANGING THEIR TUNE And you should check this thread from the guy who said there would be 500,000 deaths in the UK from Covid 19. Now HE'S tested positive and has decided it's not so bad and the UK health system will be OKAY.
WE'RE DESPERATE, BUT WE'RE NOT EAT TOFU DESPERATE And this article on what's left on otherwise cleaned out grocery shelves and cases is HILARIOUS. All those people who talk about making plant based choices are lying through their meat eating teeth.