Congrats to the Winner of the Iowa Caucus! Whoever That Is.

CONGRATS TO MAYOR PETE...OR SOMEONE BUT DEFINITELY NOT JOE BIDEN This result has to unnerve Democrats because the steady eddy "front runner" got his ass kicked. Our own Senator Michael Bennet came in with a whopping zero percent so far. HE'S TIED WITH ME IN IOWA!

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Y'ALL THAT STATE OF THE UNION SPEECH WAS REALLY, REALLY GOOD I didn't watch all of it live but I did dip my toe in long enough to see Nancy Pelosi fidgeting with papers like a five year old before she ripped up the speech in a fit of pique at the end. I watched it this morning and I have to say, it was outstanding. Just outstanding. The best SOTU I can remember. Full of successes and joy and progress and rah-rah America and I loved it. Just loved it. It made me like Trump more. Read the transcript here or watch it below. Outstanding.

LET'S JUST BLAME THE WEED FOR THE IOWA CAUCUS DISASTER Because the CEO of the company responsible for the disaster is apparently from Denver and registered to vote here. Please let him not be a Republican. JK, that won't happen.

RUSH GOT THE MEDAL OF FREEDOM LAST NIGHT and it was really powerful. Although I saw footage of him being wheeled in while in a wheelchair that didn't look good. Pray for him. I think he really needs it. But watch this. Not gonna lie, I cried.

OK BOOMER, THANKS FOR THE TIP Which generation tips well? If you're looking for consistency, it's definitely Baby Boomers. They leave between 19 and 26% usually. Millennials are the most likely to leave a more than 26% tip, but they are also more likely to leave no tip and view tipping as optional. Gen Xers weren't mentioned, which is totally unsurprising.


Imagine that. He's actually doing stuff for the black community. The flip side of this statement is that Democrats have NOT been doing things for black people in real life.

NO, WE DON'T NEED MALE ONESIES. NO. WE DO NOT. I can't even believe this is a thing and if I'm going to know it's a thing, you're going to know it's a thing.

AWWW, BABIES ARE BORN KIND. WE JUST RUIN THEM LATER A couple of studies done on babies and their compassion for others is so darn cute. Researchers used food to find out if babies are kind and considerate and babies came through in a big way. When someone dropped a piece of fruit and couldn't reach it, babies came to the rescue. When hungry babies were faced with just eating fruit and sharing it, 37% shared. Those are the sweetest babies.

ONE PRINCIPAL SHOWS BAD JUDGMENT WHEN DECLARING KOBE SHOULD HAVE DIED and now she's apologizing of course. She posted something that said:

“Not gonna lie. Seems to me that karma caught up with a rapist today,”

She is now apologizing and some students are demanding she step down, which is equally as stupid. When are we going to leave this Salem Witch Trial mentality behind?

WATCH LIZ WARREN TRY TO HIDE AFTER STEPPING OFF A PRIVATE PLANE And please remember this when she lectures you about climate change.

DO WE NEED DIVERSITY IN BOOK COVERS? I have mixed feelings about this. As a person who is 100% in favor of creative ways to inspire people to read more, I can see where this might have that effect. But it's also rather eyeroll worthy. Barnes and Noble is releasing a bunch of classics and the covers have been made to feature ethnically diverse characters from the books. Think a black Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Dave hates this, but if it inspires one kid to pick up Frankenstein or Moby Dick I could get behind this.

WHY IS BEN ALBRIGHT DRESSED LIKE A BAKED POTATO? I have no idea, but Steve Atwater was definitely not down with it.

LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT FOOD GIFT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? We've got a whole bunch of them and I'll take the salami bouquet please.

THIS COULD BE JINX This dog seriously loves some snow.

THIS IS HILARIOUS Two friends were forced to wrestle each other but they weren't having any of it.

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