I'm Back Among the Living for Tuesday

I'VE GOT THE LURGY And I have to thank my pseudo Irish friend Michelle for making me hip to "the lurgy". It's an unspecified illness, doncha know. I've had it/got it and it's awful. But I am upright and ready to go today!

JANUARY IS THE MONTH WHEN A LOT OF COUPLES THROW IN THE TOWEL And I've got a guest today who specialized in helping couples de-couple in the least destructive way possible. Denise Tova is a financial mediator and she's on today to talk about how to split without losing your mind and everything else. Find Denise and get her help by clicking here!

COULD THE DEATH PENALTY BE ON THE WAY OUT IN COLORADO? It would seem that way as there are now enough votes in the Senate to make a repeal possible. It remains to be seen if Senator Rhonda Fields, the only member of the Senate to be personally affected by a death penalty case, can drum up the opposition to stop it. I honestly can't blame her for blocking it, as her son was murdered, but I think this is the right and moral thing to do.

NOW THERE IS A GROUP TO SPEAK FOR THE GEESE In the interest of full disclosure, geese annoy the crap out of me. It's not the birds themselves, it's the noise, the poop and the nasty ones who are inclined to chase people on occasion. So obviously when I read this treatise on why we should let geese have a voice before they are removed permanently from Wash Park (and the earth) I roll my eyes. To be clear, I'm glad that there are people who are too concerned about goose freedom, because it balances out people like me, but this borders on absurd. Read this for the story.

HOW DOES YOUR CREDIT SCORE STACK UP IN COLORADO? Why should anyone care about the credit score averages in each state? Because the higher the average, the better off the citizens are doing. They are able to pay their bills, they are using credit wisely and a credit score reflects that. Colorado is right in the middle with an average FICO score of 719. How are you doin?

JEFF BEZOS IS BEING ASSAILED FOR BEING CHEAP And he totally is being cheap on this one. If you're the world's richest man and you make a splashy announcement about making a donation to help those affected by the Australian wildfires, make it at least more than the average celebrity who did the same. Bezos is being mocked for giving just .0006% of his net worth to help. Even Kylie Jenner gave more than that for criminy's sake. I think this is funny.

CONGRATS TO LSU AND JOE BURROW FOR A HUGE SEASON AND WIN LAST NIGHT! What a game, what a season and what a wonderful human being. Congrats to the LSU Nation!

I LOVE ALEX BORSTEIN And she's just funny in this interview with Seth Meyers

THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE THE COUNTRY And if you watched the video above you can be like Alex Borstein who moved to give her kids a year abroad where they could learn a new language. A new poll says young people are far more likely than their older and wiser peers to say that America isn't he greatest country in the world. I'd love a follow up question about where is better but alas, I'll just have to imagine. Well done Howard Zinn!

HAVEN'T WE ALL FELT LIKE THIS KID?

AN HOUR AT THE GYM OR SWALLOW A PILL FOR THE SAME EFFECT? Scientists say this could actually be a thing someday but I'm not cancelling my gym membership just yet. Scientists are working on a pill that would mimic the effects of doing actual exercise. Now don't get excited, they've only tested this on flies and mice so it's a long way off.

CLICK BAIT GETS THE NEW YORK TIMES SUED And I'm glad someone is finally taking a stance against the patently dishonest headlines being promoted to get web surfers to click a link. In this case it's a Harvard law professor who says a headline promoted by the NYTimes as click bait smeared him. And it did. And it was not at all reflective of the meat of the story. And now he's suing. Please don't be part of the problem by mindlessly sharing articles you haven't read because the headline confirms some bias you have.

DO YOU WANT TO GET CHEETLE ON YOUR HANDS? That's the orange dust left behind by Cheetos. At least that's what the Cheetos people are calling it now. Cheetles sounds like some sort of rash.

THE FOX IS GUARDING THE HEN HOUSE AT THE FISA COURT And I am INCENSED about this. After the Inspector General's scathing report about how the FBI abused the FISA court to spy on Carter Page, the FISA court DEMANDED to know what the FBI was going to do to fix it. And they appointed an Obama era Justice Department employee who has been covering for and making excuses for the FBI for YEAR to fix it. This should go well. Read this and get incensed too.

THIS IS MAYBE THE GREATEST PROPOSAL EVER

NOW WE HAVE TO FIGHT ABOUT HOW TO CUT PIZZA APPARENTLY and I am firmly in the "it depends on the pizza" camp. I love a square cut pizza, but it only works with thin Midwestern style pie. Read the kerfuffle here.

TO CALL IMPEACHMENT WITNESSES OR NOT TO CALL IMPEACHMENT WITNESSES, THAT IS THE QUESTION And although Chuck Schumer is all hot and bothered and wants John Bolton to come testify, Rand Paul makes an excellent point when he says that if you call witnesses, then Trump gets to call witnesses and the Democrats may not want their leading candidate and his son to have testify under oath. It's not a good look.

THERE'S A BILL TO STOP YOUR BOSS FROM FIRING YOU FROM SMOKING POT AT HOME and I think this is a good thing. Right now because pot is still illegal under Federal law, companies can fire you for a failed drug test even if you never show up high. The bill being considered would change that.

WANT A NICE LONG LIFE? GO TO AN ART MUSEUM And this may seem counter intuitive to those of you who don't "get" art and are horrified by the thought of going to art museum, but you must read this. Okay it's not JUST about art museums but the arts overall. People who engage with the arts are less likely to die soon than those who don't. So go to a concert, a play, an art museum and live a long and full life! I think this just boils down to people ENGAGING in some way and using their brains and being stimulated.

THIS IS WHY WE AREN'T SAVING FOR COLLEGE BUT FOR THERAPY All you perfect parents stand up! Now that we're all seated, let's be real. Parenting is hard, people are fallible and we all make mistakes. About four parenting blunders per week according to this survey. Honestly I'm lucky to keep it out of double digits.


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