It's an IG Report Kind of Monday!

WELL I FLEW BACK FROM NEW YORK THIS MORNING and boy are my arms tired! That is all.

DR. THOMAS KRANNAWITTER IS HERE TO TALK SLAVERY And you can follow him and check out the entire project or buy a ticket to the event by clicking here. Follow Thomas' SpeakEasy Ideas by clicking here.

YOU REALLY SHOULD READ GLENN GREENWALD'S COVERAGE OF THE IG REPORT Because it's outstanding. It's long, but find it here. This is the sort of story that EVERY American should read just to be informed about it, but they won't. The fact that James Comey was on the Sunday shows saying he regretted the "sloppiness" is absolutely rich. And beyond the pale. He's a real piece of work. History will not judge him kindly.

GREAT, NOW THERE IS NO WAY TO REIGN IN HOMELESS PEOPLE NOW As the Supreme Court has declined to review a lower court ruling that allows homeless people to sleep on the sidewalk. This is not going to be good. I hate to say it, but my heartless attitude of hassling the homeless for every law they do break seems to be the last resort. Because even if sleeping on the sidewalk is okay, pretty much everything the chronically homeless are engaged in is not.

SO I'M OUT KICKING MY COVERAGE BY 12 YEARS NOW Well this is a bit depressing. A group of genetic scientists has used a series of genes to figure out what the genetic lifespan of humans is. Bad news, it's 38. Good news though, we've figured out to extend that by quite a bit with science and we're just getting better at extending that time now.

BUT RUNNING CAN HELP! SO I'M TOTALLY OUT OF LUCK Because I am structurally unable to run at all. But for those of you who can, GOOD NEWS! ANY amount of running can prevent death from any cause. Again, this does not help me at all.

THIS WOMAN IN THE SPRINGS IS MY HERO And I refuse to call thieves who steal other people's packages something catchy like 'porch pirates' because that seems fun and jaunty not evil and nasty. Now a woman in the Springs has beaten the bastards by filling Amazon boxes with stuff like kitty litter and garbage. She's offloaded three boxes so far. I must speak with her about this. She's amazing.

NOTHING SAYS I'M SCARED OF MY WIFE MORE THAN THIS Former President Barack Obama wants everyone to know Michelle is the boss of him. What else could explain this:

"Now women, I just want you to know, you are not perfect, but what I can say pretty indisputably is that you're better than us,"

Not at sports. Or lifting heavy things. Or some other stuff. But you do Barack, you do you.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS ATTACK ON STUPID CLOTHING SIZING MAKES ME The attack is coming in the form of custom sizing apps that measure customers and custom make clothes. This avoids the horrible, no good, rotten sizes that have no consistency at all. The clothing industry has brought this on itself by making sizing so completely inconsistent that it's impossible to find anything that fits correctly without trying on a bunch of crap you don't want.

THIS IS SO CHUCK WITH JINX

DOCTORS ARE STARTING TO TALK ABOUT PSYCHOSIS AND WEED and I hope you all take a few to read this article from USA Today about the perils of the overuse of vape products and marijuana. They are not making a direct causation connection YET, but there is a growing mound of anecdotal evidence that especially in young people, marijuana is not "no big deal". I remain in favor of legalization because FREEDOM but I will not tolerate any conversation that downplays the negative ramifications of smoking dope.

IT WAS A WEIRD DAY AT THE BEACH IN CALIFORNIA When a whole slew of penis fish washed up on the beach. And nope, I'm not making that up. Just look for yourself.

NOW MAKING FUN OF PRONOUNS MAKES YOU A BIGOT OR SOMETHING And using pronouns other than the normal ones we've been using since the history of English began makes you a humorless jerk or something. A columnist took to the pages of Washington Post to scold people who make light of the pronoun thing. I have a comment for her and it goes like this: I DON'T CARE IF SOMEONE IS USING THEIR PRONOUN:

as a way for some non-binary people to express the complexities of their gender identity in different contexts and social settings.

See, I don't care about your gender complexities if I just met you. I barely care about your name or what you do, and I certainly don't give a crap about any internal struggles you're having with your gender. Not to be a jerk, just being honest, like you are trying to be by announcing to me that you don't want to use normal pronouns.  See how little you care about my honesty?

DUDE. THIS EAGLE WAS PROBABLY LIKE WHAT THE HELL??

TO REGIFT OR NOT REGIFT? the Southern Thing Gang is on it.

SWITCHED FROM SMOKING TO VAPING TO BE HEALTHIER? SORRY ABOUT YOUR LUCK Y'all, I have one wish and that is that all of you who use nicotine products will just stop. Because now researchers are saying that vaping, which was supposed to be the "safer" alternative to cigarettes are not at ALL safer. They are even MORE likely to cause emphysema, bronchitis and asthma. Read it and please quit. I have some stop smoking cds if you need one.


Sponsored Content

Sponsored Content